I have another book for McSweeney's/The Believer. It was in the hallway when I came in today and I didn't even hesitate. I got my mail out of the box and scooped the package right up with it.

This one is from Amazon. I feel a little more at ease about opening this one because it's from a corporation who is probably mistreating their employees and eating fresh monkey brain on their fifth trip around the world because they saw that gross guy on TV do it. Right? Fuck Amazon.

Yet. It is mail fraud. So, I'm not going to do it. However, I do want to draw on it again. And I intend to include the blog address. But, I need a new design for the blog first. Something custom and snazzy. And still kind of literarily dorky -- you know. You have to consider your audience.

The audience I'm trying to attract is the same audience who enjoys buying (or selling) cans of Justice (No Pulp) after saying the Superhero Oath to a person in a booth eight feet above their heads. ("I [state your name] also known as [state your superhero name] ...")

So, I want the design to be cool and fun, but at the same time I want it to say, "This shit is brilliant. You should totally read it." (And you should totally talk about it on your show.)

I've got to get this done quickly because my new mission in life is these envelopes. I plan to snatch, decorate, and forward every single one I see come in the building. I will write my blog name on them so many times that the McSweeney's staff will have to check it out -- if only to ask me to stop defacing their mail.

Ok. I'm figuring out how this thing is going to work for me. Erica found an article in the Times today on blogs that are being turned into books. For serious money. From serious publishers.

This is what I want. And not because I want a book deal. Because I want to be able to get Random House to pay for my Past Life Regression session with Shala Mattingly.A session with Shala is $300. But. If I could convince Random House (or McSweeney's. I don't care) that it was necessary for my research and that it should be covered under my expenses ... how cool would that be?

Me: You know Dave. I'm really inspired to write right after a day at the Four Seasons Spa.
Dave Eggers: Susan. You are fantastic. I want you to write a lot. So, go to the spa for a week and put it on the card!
Me: Yippee!

And I will write. And I will seek therapy near and far. I don't care how many therapeutic ranches I have to be pamperd in to get my stories out, I'll do it. If it takes a million foot reflexology sessions to recall even five sentences of a story, I don't care. A hundred visits with wacky mediums and seers on Oxford Press' dime -- Bring it.

I Told You

Dave Eggers.

OoooEeeeeee. That is one smart, good hearted man.

Thanks Flea for the link.