I have another book for McSweeney's/The Believer. It was in the hallway when I came in today and I didn't even hesitate. I got my mail out of the box and scooped the package right up with it.

This one is from Amazon. I feel a little more at ease about opening this one because it's from a corporation who is probably mistreating their employees and eating fresh monkey brain on their fifth trip around the world because they saw that gross guy on TV do it. Right? Fuck Amazon.

Yet. It is mail fraud. So, I'm not going to do it. However, I do want to draw on it again. And I intend to include the blog address. But, I need a new design for the blog first. Something custom and snazzy. And still kind of literarily dorky -- you know. You have to consider your audience.

The audience I'm trying to attract is the same audience who enjoys buying (or selling) cans of Justice (No Pulp) after saying the Superhero Oath to a person in a booth eight feet above their heads. ("I [state your name] also known as [state your superhero name] ...")

So, I want the design to be cool and fun, but at the same time I want it to say, "This shit is brilliant. You should totally read it." (And you should totally talk about it on your show.)

I've got to get this done quickly because my new mission in life is these envelopes. I plan to snatch, decorate, and forward every single one I see come in the building. I will write my blog name on them so many times that the McSweeney's staff will have to check it out -- if only to ask me to stop defacing their mail.

Not at This Address

We got another package for The Believer at the building last week. This time instead of being addressed to Heidi Julavits, it was addressed to Ed Park, the Cofounder and Editor. It was from a publishing company, so I'm guessing they were sending Ed a copy of their latest book for his review. The package sat in our foyer and after two days, I couldn't stand it any more.

I took it.

It sat in my kitchen for a couple more days. I really wanted to open it, just to see what book it was, but I didn't. (Mainly because Erica wouldn't let me.) So, I finally admitted my theft to Jay who said, "You should at least decorate the envelope." So I did. And I put the blog address on it. Then I wrote, "Not at this Address" on the front and I threw it in a mailbox.

Now, if I got the mail for Ed Park, I know I would check the blog, just for curiosity's sake. If I were Ed Park, I would probably be far too busy to check some random blog. Plus I would probably get the envelope and roll my eyes. "Not this again. I wish people would stop tagging up my mail."

I'm just hoping that whoever ends up with this envelope is not friends with people at Tumi Publishing.

"Dude. Ed just got your book and some asshole totally drew all over the envelope and plugged her blog at the same time. You should prosecute her for destruction of property or something."