southern discomforts: 01.13.2008

1.14.2008

Sis-tah

I have a younger sister (A) with whom I have not had the best relationship. We went through phases when we were younger when we would get along. But mainly because Mom was forcing me to take her everywhere I went because she thought A would be the perfect rat. (Not to be confused with "A" of HRH fame). Of course, the only way to get her not to rat was to get her to do the bad stuff with me. Which is why A started drinking at 13 and probably why she ended up a chain smoker with two DUIs.

Since I left home, A and I have barely spoken. Even when I would go home for extended periods of time, we would hardly acknowledge each other.

And now, I'm buying her a ticket to come visit me.

I'm not sure how I ended up paying, but her coming up from Georgia came about because in the past few months she and I have bonded over our frustration with Mom. That's what a sister is for. She's the only other person on the planet who completely understands what a freak show your mother is. It's comforting.

Anyway, A and I have been talking more frequently and I find myself playing the role of therapist. I guess I think that since A and I have basically the same issues, seeing as how they were contracted from the same person. And, since I spent double my deductible on therapy sessions only to find that "deductible" doesn't really mean anything to Oxford. It's like they throw out this arbitrarily obnoxious number in a "as if you could possibly reach this in a year" and because I live in New York, I surpassed it -- twice. Turns out, not important to Oxford. They don't pay back. Ever. Sorry for the digression.

Moving on. I used my vast intelligence gleaned from my 1 hour sessions every Tuesday with Mary who sat and struggled not to roll her eyes at me, to help A deal with our mother. A unfortunately has been locked in Hotel Fitzgerald Georgia with Mom and her shot at escape is looking grim. So we've been talking and one night I suggested she come visit. Long story short, I just purchased two tickets from Georgia for her and V (my neice/biologically her daughter/legally my mother's as per White Trash Dictum 97.54B-201.)

The kicker? They're coming on Valentine's Day. The exact date of the last time A flew to New York. But that time was because Mom was convinced that if she stayed in Fitzgerald she'd end up dead and it was up to me to save her. My family interactions are very complicated.

It worked out well, as you can guess. Two months later I bought her a ticket back to Georgia. Round trip because it was cheaper. I threatened her with a severe beating if she tried using the return portion.

Flash forward seven years and she's coming to visit as per my invitation. We sent text messages and I have to say that up until just now I didn't realize why I was so uncertain about this visit. I truly try not to be a pessimist, and maybe I'm overreacting (right, Cindy?) but ... I still feel that I'm going to end up feeling used at the end of this.