southern discomforts

I just got home from having drinks with Dan and Patrick and I just wanted to talk about it.

First of all, Dan says my blog is too depressing for him. Which I can understand. Although we had a brief hiatus in our relationship (due to my disappearing off the face of the Earth) Dan and I are quite close and have shared a lot over the past several years. I think maybe he's too close to the story to find it funny or just interesting. I think he worries about me and that's why the blog's too much for him.

Which is the sweetest thing ever. So, even if this isn't the reason, I'm going with it.

Then, Patrick and I start having a conversation about politics. Now, Patrick is very politically involved. He is well educated on all of the candidates and he is committed to Hillary like gangbusters.

I am not any of those things. I'm not politically involved. I know nothing about the candidates other than headline stuff. I am committed to no candidate. Other than Obama, if forced to choose in a conversation, only because I heard someone say that they thought we should get some new blood into the White House who wasn't related to a Bush or a Clinton. Seems sensible to me ...

I am pathetic. I know. But really, I just don't care.

I put my energy into my immediate life. I try to attack happiness and good things on a personal level. I feel like if I'm going to make a difference, I'm going to take it bird by bird, rather than try to make a Nation-wide impact by casting a vote at PS 182 in November. Instead, like Gandhi suggested, I'm going to be the change I want to see in the world. I'm happier these days than ever. I focus on the positive things in my life. When I have arguments or when bad things happen, I've become really good at stepping back and looking at what I'm getting out of them. Rather than be bogged down in anger or bitterness, I try to figure out what I'm supposed to be learning from whatever shitty thing is going on.

Now, this is not to imply that I am all Zen and shit about this. I certainly have my moments. But they no longer have exclusive rule over my emotions. I have some control and it's nice. And in that way, I'm a happier person. And I believe that affects others around me. I mean, Erica certainly gets happiness out of it. People I work with ... you see where I'm going.

And that's where my energies go these days. I feel like my reactions to what happens to me on a personal level are things I do have control over. The government -- not so much. And honestly, I have very little faith in the media, or politicians, or anyone who has a public presence like that. Like my friend Leila, who was on a reality-based series says, "There is no reality in Reality TV."

Those big exclamations of surprise from the stars? Scripted. And if the first take isn't good, they'll re-shoot. And if producers will waste time and money on that crap to get it right ... just think about CNN.