Love you!

You know how sometimes you see a stranger and you fall in love with them a little bit? And not in a sexual way, but in a, "You're so adorable!" way. Or maybe you feel a kinship with them for something you observe -- a button or a pair of sneakers they're wearing, something you hear them say, whatever. But you love them for that moment in a special little way for whatever it is and I think we should start telling them.

I once got an email from my friend The Universe.

Ever have one of those days, Susan, when you're feeling so good, crossing a street, driving your car, shopping at the mall, when, from a distance you see a complete stranger, with a kindly face, and you simply can't help yourself from whispering a silent "I love you..."?
Oh, cool, because there has been many a time, in many a place, when some unknown face whispered the same to you....

Love you,
The Universe

And the thought of someone on a train or in a theater or crossing the street seeing me and feeling that "stranger love" for me made me happy. And sometimes when I'm going into work (When I had a job, that is.), or I'm out walking Chulo, I remember that email and get a little tingly thinking that maybe right that second someone in my vicinity is sending me stranger love. I think people would like to know when they're receiving stranger love.

So why don't we tell them?

Because it would be creepy.

The thing is, I think it could be a good thing -- like a pass it forward/random act of kindness thing. We've just got to figure out how to do it without sounding skeevy or lecherous. Like, you can't just say, "I so totally love you," to the little rocker who looks just like all of your ex-boyfriends from 1986. Either he'd make fun of you (the absolute worst) or he'd think, "Why's this old lady saying this to me?" (Takes place of "absolute worst" if he says this out loud.), or people around you would think you're a pervert (Not the first time ...). And all you were saying was that seeing him in those skinny jeans with a black t-shirt and hair-band hair reminded you of a super fun time in your life when all you wanted was to see the Ratt-Poison tour. (Twice!)

So. You see our problem. To tell the person the entire background of why you are having a little moment about them is cumbersome. Saying, "You are so adorable to me, I totally love you," doesn't explain enough. Maybe I'll make buttons to hand out. Or those wooden nickel things. With some sort of catch phrase printed on it. Like, "Just wanted to say I love you, but not in a creepy way," on one side and, "Have a nice day!" or a smiley face on the other.

Fan-fucking-tastic.

Susan. We need to have a talk neither of us wants to have.

My boss sat down in front of me and proceeded to tell me that because of our country's garbage economy, the event production company could no longer afford my salary. Our company (their company) has only employed three full-time employees and even that was too much of a burden at this point. He said he didn't want to let me go, but three of our yearly events had already cancelled and the rest of our clients were all scaling way back on the remaining events we had booked.

Awesome.

You can have the rest of the afternoon off.

I packed my stuff and went home. And that's how I got laid off. Again. "Again?" you ask.

To that I reply, "Yep."

I have been laid off twice by the same company. Hell. By the same guy. The last time we had an audience. We were all in his office -- him, co-worker one and two, part-time lighting guy, and me. It was right after 9/11 and we were having champagne. This time it was one on one. And it wasn't nearly as dramatic. I'm not sure if it's set in yet. I'm kind of still processing and, to be honest, enjoying having a day off. Plus, I got off early yesterday! I picked up cream on the way home because I thought, "I'm gonna want coffee in the morning and I'm not going to be putting on real clothes tomorrow."

When I got in, I decided to take a look to see what jobs were on Craig's List. When I clicked on the "food/bev/hosp" link I was hoping to find something in the event management arena. I started reading the ads and I realized. I don't want to be an event planner anymore. The last time I was laid off I worked every crap job I could find to stay afloat until I could convince the event company to hire me back. It was the first job I had ever had that was rewarding and exciting. There was a challenge to it and the perks were glamorous. Working there was the first time that I realized that I could aspire to something better than Receptionist or Executive Assistant. Now, this is my chance to figure out what I really wanted to do. So I clicked on the "Writing Jobs" link.

I think it's been hardest on Erica. She tends to panic. I've been laid off for about 26 hours at this point. Erica has known about it since 11:00 last night (she worked late). We went to bed by midnight. She got up at 8, left by 9, and was at work at 9:45.

By noon she sent me three different email contacts as well as job ideas. Before 3 PM I had a voicemail from her mother and an email from Erica explaining why she had her mother.

She's in PR. She can help you sell yourself. She can work on your resume. Have you written anything for that job you saw? Is your resume up to date?

I know she's trying to help and isn't intentionally pressuring me, but I'm still trying to understand that I don't have a job anymore. In her mind, (and out loud more than once) Erica already has us losing the house. I think that the biggest issue with us in regard to my current lack of employment is that Erica thinks because I didn't stay up all last night writing a resume and that I didn't spend all morning setting up interviews with crappy temp agencies, it means that I'm apathetic about my careerlessness. I'm not. I just know that I need to take a step back, evaluate the situation and make the right decision about what move to make. As I mentioned, I've been here before. And I needed money just as badly then. It wasn't a mortgage, but it was a payment that I had to make in order to keep my home. And I worked it out.

And I'll work it out again.

The thing for me is that it doesn't make sense to just start throwing fishing lines out willy-nilly hoping to catch something - anything - with no concern about the size or quality of what I might be getting. Doing that just crowds the water with so many hooks and lines that only the smallest and crappiest fish can get through.

Now, if I take that energy and effort and decide what I'm looking for. Then I can choose the proper bait, the perfect lure, the exact line I need. I could find out where the fish I want is known for hanging out when it gets hungry. And I could drop my hook there. Because, I'm not going to be happy with a small crappy fish. Getting a small crappy fish is only going to make me sad that I didn't try harder to get the good fish. I've had small crappy fish. I'm done with small crappy fish.

Obviously, I am not going to starve myself waiting for that perfect bite. I can totally drop a couple of hooks off the back of the boat and snack on whatever I get. I'm not above it. However, my main focus is going to be getting that ideal fish.

Ok. Dead horse. I know. I'm just working it out. And trying to verbalize what I know inside. This is a good thing. And honestly, it's exciting for me. This is going to bring something fantastic. Something I've been wanting and waiting for and when it shows up, I'll wonder why I spent so many years doing anything else.

Get OUT!

Read on CNN.com

PEABODY, Massachusetts (AP) -- Police in Peabody, Massachusetts, could be getting holiday pay on the anniversary of the September 11, 2001, terror attacks in what may be a first-of-its-kind contract provision.

A proposed new contract between the city and the police union would make the anniversary a paid holiday. The proposed contract still needs budgetary approval from the city council.

Officers would receive an extra 25 percent pay for working September 11.

Representatives of the International Brotherhood of Police Officers and the International Union of Police Associations told The Salem News they knew of no similar contract provisions in any other city.

The New York Police Department, which lost 23 officers at the World Trade Center on September 11, 2001, does not recognize the day as a paid holiday.

A union representing 24,000 NYPD officers has tried during contract discussions to get extra pay for anti-terrorism work in the years since the September 11 attack but has been unsuccessful. Patrolmen's Benevolent Association spokesman Al O'Leary said the pay would be more appropriate than extra pay for one day.

No members of the Peabody force were killed on September 11, but some went to New York after the terror attacks to help the city recover.

I am infuriated and disgusted and outraged.

Or at least I feel like I should be. I'm not really mad, but I did roll my eyes after reading this. Can you believe the nerve of these people? This is like teachers in Topeka asking for a vacation day on April 20 or if mailmen in Austin requested that August 20th be a paid holiday.

Who do they think they are? New York cops should be disgusted. Even more, New York Firemen. They were the ones at the towers in droves and droves and they were the ones who lost the most men that day and I've never heard of them trying to make 9/11 a holiday -- and they're the ones who should.