I miss you…

Darling readers, as you know by now, The Princess has been forced into a blogging hiatus to do her “real” job. I will not lie, this is hard on HRH. Of course this has been compounded by the fact that at the same time “A”, who oddly enough has a job that is similar to The Princess’ in that he is basically abducted for days at a time, during which yours truly only receives communication via a daily text and if lucky a twenty second phone call, has been working also. And as life would have it the two people I talk to the most and who make me laugh the most are completely incommunicado and now I think I have PMS. This of course is a deadly combination, one that will probably result in some hideous bought of either tears or anger whenever “A” does resurface. (“A” who foolishly, said during the early days of our dating that he didn’t believe in PMS well I can tell you he sings a different tune these days.)

During the course of this week I have had about three minutes total on the phone with both The Princess or “A” neither conversation was that fulfilling. I will provide the details:

With The Princess, we discussed how “Pride cometh before a fall” was always a metaphor (or simile, I swear I can never get those right) to me until, in my dance class this week, I literally fell off of my brick that we stand on while doing plies and squats. Of course, I flailed wildly as I catapulted off my brick making an enormous ass of myself. Alas, the only injury I sustained was to my pride.

“A” called to tell me how hot Kim Kardashian is in the December issue of Playboy. When I questioned if indeed her boobs were real, he told me, “Well, you can see for yourself I bought a copy.” Touching, right? I told him how much it meant to me that he buys soft porn for us to share. He told me, “don’t forget about the articles, babe.” Sweet, right? I mean if that isn’t touching what is? Of course, the worse my PMS gets the more annoying I find this.

Dear readers, I must also apologize for the lack of visual aids this week. To be honest, it is The Princess who is responsible for adding them and making everything look pretty. Of course Erica, would like me to learn how to do it too, but seriously that’s too much work. Some of you might have noticed that I did include a link on yesterday’s blog, that was a huge accomplishment for me and all credit belongs to Erica who spent a good six hours explaining to me how it is done.

Oh Princess, I’m glad to hear you are staying regular.

Do You Miss Me?

I don't know if you guys miss me, but I sure do. I'm currently in Key Largo, FL, working on an event which means I have to put my entire life on hold until 2:30 tomorrow afternoon when I get on a plane to fly back to New York. Right now I should be heading down to my golf cart to go over to our workroom to help get things set up for lunch and the dinner party tonight, but I took a break to come back to my room for my morning poop and to read HRH's latest posting.

I've been up since 5 this morning and didn't get to bed until 12:30 last night and I don't expect to get to bed any earlier this evening. Now, I'm not complaining. This is the nature of the event planning beast. I'm just saying I'm tired, I want to sit here in my room and blog to you guys about my latest emotional breakthrough (big news on the therapy front!), but alas ... lunch florals and linens await.

That being said, I am in South Florida, in gorgeous weather and I love the people I'm working with, so it don't suck.

Write to you soon!

xoxoxox -- TP

Zen and the life of a commuter.

Now I realize dear readers that it is very likely you are tired of hearing about my commute to work and the suffering that I experience on my daily L train rides. I apologize. I too am sick of it, but let’s face it, I really don’t have much to talk about. Basically my life is, commuting, work, the gym and trying to spend time with “A” (I know, it’s disgusting but true, I’m totally that girl). Please forgive me for being so limited in scope, but listen you’re reading this so I figure you care about my life. Yes, dear reader when I picture you, I see you waking every morning and wondering, how is HRH? Is she happy? Is she growing as a person? That’s right, in my mind’s eye, our readers not only care about who we are but are concerned with our ultimate personal growth.

During a recent conversation with The Princess I was saying how I’d like to become one of those people who are calm all the time. She says that those people don’t exist. But I’m telling you that they do. I’ve encountered people who just let things roll off of them and I’ve always wanted to be that person. So in an attempt to find enlightenment I’ve started reading this book, Girl Seeks Bliss by Nicole Beland. I heard about Nicole (she writes a column on sex for Men’s Health Magazine called, “Ask the Girl Next Door”) on Dr. Oz’s show on the Oprah and Friends Network on XM radio. I am addicted to both the Gayle King show and the Dr. Oz show and listen daily while I get ready for work. This is a habit that drives “A” insane (oh, by the way, for those of you who don’t like that I write A in quotes, i.e. The Princess, suck it up, you’re not the boss of me and I like it in quotes, thank you very much). “A” does not think it is fun to both watch me get ready for work as well as listen to gossip during the morning hours. He would much prefer some hearty news. “A” is also not the boss of me. And if he were then I might not have heard about Nicole’s book on Dr. Oz’s show.

It of course is on my L train commutes that I stand, reading my book and learning how to be more Zen. This morning I was reading a story of how Nicole and her ex-boyfriend had been waiting in line for tennis tickets, when the line got jostled and they were pushed further back while others jumped ahead of them. Of course she was annoyed, but when she looked over at her ex, who is one of those calm people that The Princess says doesn’t exist, he still looked completely at ease. When she asked him why he said, “getting mad isn’t going to make things any better.” I swear people, that is one of the wisest things I’ve heard in a long time. This is a phrase I shall start repeating to myself, “getting mad isn’t going to make things any better.”

Guess what, I didn’t have to wait long to practice my new phrase, as the L train doors opened and people crammed into the train, elbowing me in my back, one girl even got her hair caught on my coat button. Of course my original desire was to scream, “Stop pushing me I’m trying to read my book on being Zen.” Of course then I began chanting to myself, “getting mad isn’t going to make things any better” (serenity now!).

Why is She Against Me?

Erica sends me a message yesterday ... "I have a surprise for you when you get home from belly dancing class!"
I reply, "A cupcake?"

I love cupcakes people. Really. A lot. But not just any cupcake. It has to be a perfectly, not too moist, cupcake with the perfect cream cheese icing. Not that gross sugary fake icing. Nor any fancy flavored weird icing. (I am equally as particular about my cookies.)

Now, my Erica knows the perfect cupcake, so when she has cupcakes, I get excited. These are Billy's cupcakes. Billy also knows a good cupcake.

Anyway. In belly dancing class when HRH is seated on the floor next to me after adamantly insisting that she will not participate in the "groups of five" performance of the correography we've learned (some childhood trauma caused in some story involving Ganesh, finger cymbals and a goat on the beach in Southern India), she says, "You have a surprise when you get home!" I said, "I know. A cupcake. Is it red velvet?" She says, "No. Chocolate."

I'm a little disappointed, but still. It's a surprise cupcake.

Then I get home. As I do my new "cross, step, hip lock" move into the house, I ask, "Where's my cupcake?"

E: On the TV.
S: (to myself) Weird place for a chocolate cupcake.
(to E) I don't see it.
E: Look at the screen.
S: Oh!

People, my cupcake is not a cupcake. It is the new Harry Potter game for Wii.

Now. Here is my schedule for the next two weeks:
Today (Tuesday) - I have taken the day off to do some packing and prepare for my trip.
Wednesday - Saturday I am in Key Largo producing a Meeting/Golf Outing for some rich corporation guys who want to use the private jet to go play golf in Florida so they created a "meeting" so that the company will pay for it all. (Brilliant work boys.)
I arrive at JFK at 6PM Saturday, so my only weekend day is Sunday.
Monday - Work
Tuesday - The Closing so Erica and I will be in a room signing papers and checks the whole day.
Wednesday - Friday - Work
Saturday is the move to the new place.

Do you see the dilemma? I have today, 7pm Saturday through 8am Monday morning, then evenings for the rest of the week to finish packing everything in the apartment. Why isn't Erica helping you ask? Because, I think I mentioned this before, I am a control freak and made a deal with her. "I'll pack everything if you'll just stay out of the way."

A good deal for all involved. Until she threw the Harry Potter monkey wrench into the mix. Now, not only do I have my blog to distract me (as it is obviously doing right now), I have Harry Potter calling me. Is she testing me? Is she sabotaging me? She says it was a gift, but, it feels a little sinister. Or, did she really get it for herself so that she can torture me by playing while I bubble wrap vases?

I'm going to try to hold on today and focus on the task at hand. But I'm telling you, I feel I am owed a cupcake.

Congratulations Flea & Patrick!

I am proud to announce that Jose and Jorge have found new homes. Flea and Patrick are the lucky recipients of new best friends.

Flea -- I am awarding you Jose. Jose (pictured on the left) is a Taurus and enjoys late night hikes through the woods looking for the cats while quasi-drunk from wine. Jose will await your visit to New York later this year and he can be your return travel companion.

Patrick -- Jorge will be all yours. Jorge (with the turquoise wingspan) is a Capricorn and a little fussy. But, once you incorporate some leather and candle wax into your relationship, he straightens right up. I think Jorge should accompany us on our upcoming, "Celebrate Susan and Erica's New Apartment Dinner", currently being planned by The Princess and your husband. He can serve as a brilliant centerpiece for our meal, and can guard you and the Cooney on your way back to your mansion in Hell's Kitchen. (Where else would Jorge live, I ask you?)

As for the rest of you fans out there who didn't win this contest ... stay tuned! I am sure in the next couple of weeks I will come across yet another beloved item that Erica refuses to let me keep.