Who I Am These Days

Know what keeps me up past 10 PM these days? Politicians. Politicians doing stupid stuff. Seriously. What the fuck?

It's the stuff like shooting friends in the face, or participating in outright sodomy in the Okahumpka Service Area on the Florida Turnpike. Am I up rioting? Am I up writing senators or rallying my never ending supply of politically radical lesbians? My friend Patrick has a blog and he is insane over this election. I'm encouraging all people on the planet I have contact with to please, please, please for the love of smoking baby, vote for Hillary. You see, I just re-united with Patrick after a seemingly great gig as a dancer on a luxury cruise ship turned into a trip to Devil's Island with aliens. And I don't want to lose him to the aneurism that will certainly ensue if Obama gets this nomination.

Patrick makes me feel ashamed. Not on purpose. But still.

I know nothing about these candidates other than the fact that when I took this online quiz on my political stance (weak as it may be) I was matched up with Kucinich. Who is Kucinich, you ask? I don't know. I didn't even bother to Google him until just now when I was making sure I was spelling his name correctly.

Yes. I checked my political views the way I checked to see which Spice Girl I would be.I didn't even vote in the New York primaries. Granted, I was in South Georgia dealing with what we fondly refer to as my mom's "recent illness." But still. The thing is, I don't want to put my energy into this corrupt, insane government. Like Mother Theresa was quoted as saying, "I'm not going to your anti-war rally, but if you have a peace rally, let me know." Or something like that. I kind of feel the same way about the elections.

I'm rationalizing. Because I feel guilty. Honestly, I used to be political. I used to be vocal and radical. I used to wear leather chokers and denim stilettos and not even start getting ready to go out until 11PM. And now, that same person who ingested more Budweiser than vegetables between 2001-2003, is struggling to stay up past 10PM so she can see what Jon Stewart has to say about Eliot Spitzer and his whores.