Feet Fit for Royalty

Okay, so it’s totally that time again, where both my fingers and my toes are in desperate need of some pampering. I am in the habit of trying to convince myself that I can wait three weeks before I need a new manicure/pedicure. I can not. Now I know this might seem strange to you dear readers, (and Nat that means you because I realize you’re the only one who reads this), who probably do not include a manicure/pedicure as one of your living expenses, though some of you should. Not to name names, HC, but I know you need a pedicure more than you need a TV. I haven’t seen you in forever but I would bet money that your feet are hideous.

The point is I’ve spent the better part of the morning attempting to determine where The Princess and I will be getting our pedicures done tomorrow. Yes, I’m at work, but I can multi-task people. You might have noticed I didn’t say mani/pedi, mainly because I hate how it sounds. I also hate FroYo (frozen yogurt, retarded yes?). Mani/pedi is a nails on the chalk board word to me, and I hate it. But let me tell you something, I understand why they invented it, typing, saying, and reading manicure/pedicure a million times is annoying. Well too bad, you must suffer with me or offer me an alternative that doesn’t sound like my name is Blair and I live on Park Ave, okay?

Wait, what was I talking about? Oh, yes, so The Princess (she insists on the capital t, I know, I know) and I are IMing about where we are going to go. You know I want the ideal place, affordable luxury. You know the one where I’m treated like the royalty I am but that won’t make me feel guilty for spending all my money on my feet. I’m sort of a poor royal you know, the kind you here about in US Weekly. Well, The Princess apparently does not have time for these decisions today; in fact she somehow thinks her little breakthrough/melt down with her mother entitles her to leave such important decisions up to me. And I quote, “listen. i'm still reeling from mom and my wine hangover. i can't talk you through your manicure/pedicure drama.” (All, please note even when The Princess is not being helpful she still uses manicure/pedicure.)

Let’s not dismiss the importance of this decision though, because ultimately this is my appearance. And I’m nothing if I’m not shallow. As I told the girl from the Gay Rights organization who was asking me for a donation as I left Barnes and Noble, “I would make a donation but I just spent all my money on fashion magazines. I know. I’m shallow.”