I Hate HRH and I Hate Her Assface

People, people, people. Are you sitting down?
Today, October 15, 2007.
The Princess got in a fight with HRH.
!
It's true.
I won't get into specifics, but let it suffice to say that it involved an IM hang up.

However, as the case usually is with conflict, HRH and I learned from this 4 and a half hour long argument.

1 -- HRH and I are not the same person. Now, that may seem like a joke to the millions of our readers, but, it's the truth. Apparently, according to recent findings, HRH and The Princess actually have their own separate brains. The thing is, this has actually been under investigation and up until today we believed that there was only one mind and we shared it between us.
On particularly hard days, we'd ask permission to use the entire mind and not just the half designated for us. (Yes. We were stoned.) (And probably drunk.) (Especially The Princess.) When we'd have these feelings, we were always eating cheese. And pork products.

2 -- Dear people, take note. HRH is WAY more discreet than The Princess. The Princess is the Sarah Ferguson of this royal family. HRH is Queen Elizabeth. i.e. if you want the broad strokes, ask HRH. if you're looking for dirty details ... The Princess is your potty mouthed girl. She's always got a good story.

3 -- Now, pay attention to this. It's important. Today, HRH and The Princess learned that each of us has multiple people in our lives because we have multiple needs. And, those needs are complicated and unique and can not be fulfilled by any one person. Excuse the sappiness, but HRH and I learned (she will never admit this) that soul mate should actually be plural.

Here's to you, Assface.
(I'm totally stoned.)