No. Really. (or) Fucking Cat: The Sequel

Will you look at this?

Do you see what I'm saying about this cat? My cousin used to be my arch nemesis. You know, the one my grandma always compared me to?

Susan, you know she met her husband in church. Maybe if you went to church more you could find a nice boy like him.

She did not meet him in a church. She met him in a bar. In fact She was the one who took me to visit her at college one weekend and got me into this bar called the The Front Porch, snuck me in with her ID and let her frat boy friends get me completely wasted. I was sixteen. I got so drunk that one of the nice frat boy friends took me back to the car and sat on my freezing feet (at my request) while I passed out until She was ready to go home. The next day, She took me to watch a football game at the same friends' house where we drank more beer. I believe that was the day I learned about "hair of the dog."

This trip was often referred to as the time A.N. tried to save me and show me how important getting a good education was.

So, not only did She have Grandma completely snowed, She contributed to the delinquency of a minor (not that I was an unwilling participant), She flat out lied about how She met her husband, and I lived with constant remarks about how She was someone to look up to and I should try to be more like her. She is also the one I mentioned before who outed me about my tattoos and broke my mother's heart. Arch nemesis. She has been dethroned by a little 5' x 8' gray cat named, Mittens. These photos are what I collected this morning. When was the last time I collected? Last night. Chulo is still in the trenches, doing all he can to destroy Mittens strand by strand. Sometimes he struggles, but I just force him to let me open his mouth and pull the wad out, and he goes right back in. That is a good dog.