Door Policy

The Princess, in a recent post spoke about my “friend” (who from here in will be known as “A”) and the pork mishap. The Princess after reflecting on her hostessing skills was able to conclude that the fault did not lie with her but with her need to enforce a stricter door policy. The Princess and I often find that the fault lies in others.

My relationship with “A” (and I use the term relationship very loosely) has got me thinking about my own door policy. Especially after receiving a text from “A” last night that said, “Are you still angry?” When I replied that no, I was no longer angry. “A” was kind enough to tell me that he has, “been wanting to see you but every time I try you are pissy.” Now, this reminds me of a great quote I once read that said, “Women have the last word in every argument. When a man thinks he’s had the last word, he’s just started the next argument.”

Now I am the first to admit that I can overreact and that I am not always the most rational person. I am flawed people, accept it. In my defense this fight that I was having with “A” was over his standing me up (which he claims to have been a misunderstanding. Misunderstanding my ass. Now, I might be irrational at times, but I am never stupid). Also my so called “pissy” attitude involves a phone conversation in which “A” said, “do you expect me to call or text you back every time you call or text me.” Call me crazy but I do indeed anticipate that my texts and phone calls will be returned. I was operating under the assumption that this is how such things work. “A” is attempting to destroy my whole belief system about the fundamentals of communication.

Except… last night, on my walk home from the gym, I swear I saw a friend of mine (He has yet to earn himself a descriptive letter, I don’t just toss those things around) cross to the other side of the street as I was approaching. Now many possibilities exist here. One, it could not have been him. Two, it could have been him and he didn’t see me. Or the third possibility is that his experience with me was so horrific that upon seeing me, his only thought was to escape, thus resulting in a mad dash across the street. Of course I have got to laugh at this, given that I have been known to yell at Nat for standing deer-in-the-headlights style while we were approached by a certain someone. In fact I believe I said to Nat, “I don’t care what you do. Just don’t stand there. Jump into traffic, I don’t care, just don’t stand there.” So, should I have in fact elicited the same feelings from someone, I guess it is only fair that they would employee my tactics.

I’m not exactly sure when I turned into a character from Sex & the City, but it certainly seems to have happened, though without the Manolo Blahniks, but all in good time people, all in good time. At this point I’m willing to approach this situation with a sense of humor and a positive attitude and assume that this is one of my more irrational moments and that my wonderfully creative brain was playing tricks on me, because the idea that a person would cross the street to avoid me is almost enough to make me want to abdicate my throne. Almost people, almost.