Stress on Seventh Avenue

E and I are fighting. Right now it's because I put too much kindling on the fire. Apparently there is a specified amount of kindling allowed per fire and it's related to the time of night but I'm not sure how.

We've been having stupid fights all night long. We're both having severe muscle spasms in our shoulders and we are cranky. I obviously blame my mother.

I think E was expecting that my return to Brooklyn would equate to me being okay emotionally about Mom simply by virtue of the mileage between us. Unfortunately, now that I'm home, I'm out of 'survive the drama' mode and I am strictly processing. This does not usually inspire much house cleaning or dinner making. It mostly involves staring at the TV and obsessing about what's happened and what might be happening right now. And, dear god, what will happen tomorrow?I know what's happening Saturday. Al-Anon. I don't know whether I'm already betraying the Anon part of it by saying I'm going, but I tell you guys everything. I'd feel like I was being secretive and as I learned on Dr. Drew's Celebrity Rehab, you are only as sick as your secrets.

I got a call from HJ today. I never get calls from HJ. Never. Until the past month that is. There is apparently some full moon type hippie shit going on. The last time I talked to her, she was hiding out at a cocktail party, chain smoking and hoping that they were serving pork for dinner, then today we had a conversation consisting of her saying, every 6 sentences, "Al-Anon. Seriously."

So I'm going. I think she's right. First of all, I could totally use some camaraderie in this. Secondly, I have always wanted to have a group session. I think that's why I'm so attracted to the addiction/intervention/rehab shows. I love the idea of group. (And that being able to relate so directly to most of their problems.) How fun to not only whine about your problems, but to whine to a captive audience? For free? Al-Anon. Seriously.

I'm nervous. And excited. Basically here's my Saturday plan; Al-Anon, Brunch, Yoga, Reflexology/Facial, Dinner, Birthday Party. I'm mainly afraid that my plan will dissolve into; Al-Anon, Bloody Mary Brunch, Uncontrollable Sobbing, Dinner, Birthday Party. (That was probably also problematic in the by-laws of Al-Anon.)

However, I have to find a way to work this out or E and I are going to bicker each other to death. She'll be irritated because she has handled way too many Mother-In-Law crises in this relationship and she's on the brink of snapping. And I'll be resentful because I'll try to not talk to her about the latest crisis, and then I'll be passive aggressive because I'm repressing. So I'm going to Al-Anon. And I am looking forward to it.