For over 50 years, Al-Anon ... has been offering hope and help to families and friends of alcoholics (addicts). .... No matter what relationship you have with an alcoholic, whether they are still drinking or not, all who have been affected by someone else’s drinking can find solutions that lead to serenity in the Al-Anon/Alateen fellowshipI'm getting to the point where I'm moving beyond just showing up to meetings and I'm taking a look at the steps and figuring out a game plan for recruiting a sponsor. Here's the list:
1. We admitted we were powerless over alcohol—that our lives had become unmanageable.
Check. I am totally aware of this. In Al-Anon, being powerless over alcohol equates to being powerless over other's addictions. I can't control my Mom. Only she can take the steps to get better. I have to remind myself from time to time, but ultimately I know.
2. Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.
Chcek. And I am in constant contact with my Higher Power. I believe in the Universe. I believe that I am my own powerful being who is just working through the Powerful Being Owner's Manual. And, of course there's always SB.
3. Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood God.
I'm working on it. But, I get sucked in for other people. For myself I can, to an extent, let go and let god. I'm not perfect, but the message is in my head and when I start heading toward the "dark place" I start the mantra. "Let go, let god. Grant me the serenity ...," and I can usually pull myself back. It's when others are being hurt that I want to get involved. Like I wish I could teach Amy all the things I've learned over the years through therapy and research, but I can't. And that's where it's hard for me.
4. Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.
Well. You can imagine how exciting this enterprise might be. It's apparently so intense that a workbook was created to help out. In this step, "fearless" is specified. Do you think it would be frowned upon if I did this step while sitting in a dark bedroom listening to the Cure? While it was raining? In the middle of the night?
5. Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.
Oh please.
6. Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.
Check and double check. Please, please, please. I want SB to be my Calgon bubble bath of redemption.
7. Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings.
Now, I can't quite make out the difference between defects of character and shortcomings. Maybe a defect of character can be described as a shortcoming, but perhaps not all shortcomings are necessarily defects of character. So. Step 7. Check. Wait -- humbly. Ok -- half a check.
8. Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all.
I think I could do this. I may not remember all of them, but I can give it a shot.
9. Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.
Yeah. Once I have the list, I'm sure I could at least do this with some of them. But I would like to know if I'm included in that word "others".
10. Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it.
This has always been tough for me. I'm getting better at it and I try to be conscious of myself, but this one will take a while.
11. Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out.
Sort of. I do pray a lot. But it's not just a, "show me the way," prayer. It's more like an internal loop of the Serenity Prayer which is asking for more than just knowledge of SB's will for me.
12. Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to others, and to practice these principles in all our affairs.
Check. I am having a spiritual awakening. And it has a whole lot to do with these steps and the meetings I've gone to. And I am really trying to practice these principles in all my affairs. As for carrying the message to others ... you're reading it, aren't you?
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1 comment:
Step 10 sucks. I hate Step 10. I always talk about how much I hate Step 10. Although, I may or may not remember Step 10 because the only thing I've memorized is that on page 133 it says: 'He thought all alcoholics should constantly have chocolate available for its quick energy value at times of fatigue'.
Step 4, I do it from the Big Book (ok, when I get around to doing it). 1. I'm Resentful at ___, 2. The Cause, 3. Affects My ___. Then for each name list a). where have I been selfish b). where have I been dishonest c). where have I been self-seeking d). where was I to blame and most importantly e). where have I been frightened.
Fear's a big thing in all this.
I can't wait for you to get a sponsor. Then we'll both have our own Chia Pet.
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