Potty Training

Let’s talk for a moment about good manners. I’m not certain why, but New Yorkers seem to lack good manners especially when it comes to cleanliness. Take for instant The Princess’, what I can only describe as grotesque, run in with Psoriasis Man. Yuck. For the record, I would not have sat for the duration of the ride next to him. Unlike The Princess, I wear 3 inch heels to work but still I would have endured foot torture before I would have sat next to someone while they were flinging their dry scabby skin on me. Seriously, who raised this person?

I do believe it’s all about upbringing. The Princess is from the South and I’m from the Midwest where, even if we wanted to do something that disgusting, we would be too embarrassed to behave such a way in public. Now, the longer you live in NYC the easier it does become to block out the fact that there are other people around. It’s really the only way to survive. That said, you are not alone and we have to inhabit your environment too, so please keep your scab flakes to yourself.

The women’s bathroom is seriously the most disgusting thing in the world. Of course I expect that when I go in to some random public bathroom that it is incredibly likely I will encounter an unflushed toilet or sadly things even more disgusting than that. What I do not expect is that at bathrooms in places like my job or the gym I will have to witness such disgusting behavior. It amazes me. And I’m not talking about a lack of maintenance by the cleaning crew. What I’m talking about is general bad manners. When my sisters were little and we would take them to a public bathroom, we would walk them through proper bathroom etiquette. Apparently, no one did this for the majority of women living in New York so I am going to do it for you.


Proper Bathroom Etiquette 101
#1. Always Flush. Yes, I realize this seems obvious but judging by the fact that 9 out of 10 times, I enter a stall only to find that someone has not flushed, the majority of you are not aware of this rule.
#2. Flush, until you can’t flush anymore. It is not enough to just flush the toilet once and then leave the stall. Apparently, many people do not realize this which is why I’m telling you please do us all a favor and make sure your flush took.
#3. , Wipe the Seat. Might I just say for a second, ick. Seriously, how can you not wipe the seat? If you insist that you must squat above it then you must make sure that you wipe the seat. And believe you me, you need to. I know for a fact that your thigh muscles are not strong enough that you can keep that squat going and not move, okay. You’ve sprinkled while you tinkled. Now clean it up!
#4. When you wash your hands, do not leave a pool of water on the counter . As proud as I am that you have decided to wash your hands, I have to say it makes me hate you when the entire waist of my shirt gets wet because you somehow do not know how to actually keep the water off of the counter. Here is a suggestion, should you find that when you wash your hands water gets all over the counter, please use one of those readily available paper towels and wipe the counter.

Remember people, we all have to share this space together. And as any good girl from the Midwest (or South) knows, that might be a stranger standing next to you in line for the bathroom, but you better believe she is still judging you.